26.2

In 2009, my friend Daniel got me to start running. I had flirted with running before, but had never been able to get past the DTR discussion. I would run for a week or so, then give it up because... couch. But this time, I used the Couch to 5k program. It was already popular then, now it's uber-popular! I ran my first ever 5k in June of that year.

I floundered with my running until the next summer, when I picked it back up. At church, my friend Nate said he wanted to run the USAF Half Marathon. I volunteered Daniel and I to run it with him. I spent the whole summer training for the Half and ran it in September of 2010. I'll never forget, after the race, Nate asked me if this made me want to run a full marathon. For him, there was no chance, the half had convinced him that he wouldn't be running a full, ever. I had the opposite reaction, I wanted to run a full at some point.

In 2011, I didn't do a lot of running, just periodically. I actually finished the year really strong in 2011, joining a couple of friends in a challenge to run every single day from Thanksgiving Day through New Years Day. I didn't miss a day, and finished the year with a 10-miler (which was my longest run since the half the year before).

Late Spring of 2012, my friend Nick asked me if I'd run the Columbus Marathon with him that year. I eagerly said YES! Well, in June, I was fired from my job. I kept running until the end of July, when it all fell apart. I didn't start running again until 2013.

This year, I started running in the Spring, then decided that I'd run the Columbus Marathon. I invited everyone I knew who was even mildly into fitness/running. They all declined. Solo training would become the mantra of my summer. I was absolutely determined to run in the Columbus Marathon, no matter what happened in my professional life.

Last Sunday was finally the big day! Training had gotten old and boring for me, I had been missing lots of days, so I was eager to finally get the marathon over with, that way I could cross it off my list and be done with the race.

I had looked over the course all week, agonized over what I'd wear and what kind of pace I'd be able to run. I got into Columbus early in the morning and found my corral, which I eagerly considered my first win of the day. (On a side note, Columbus Marathon, it'd be nice to direct toward the corrals a little better. I found the A corral with no problem, a sign indicating "B, C and D corrals this way" would've been awesome!)

I waited in the corral for over an hour (early to get there, woot woot!), nervous. My teeth chattered the entire time because I was so nervous. There was a guy in the corral who was talking to some women who were about to run their first half-marathon. He said, "There are 18,000 people running today. That represents one-half of one-percent of the population of Central Ohio. You've already won today because you showed up." He repeated this about 25 times between the first time I heard it and when we finally started running. Seriously, this guy was the bomb. Greatest stranger motivation I'd ever heard!

Finally, we moved into the start position. One of the cool things about this marathon is the staggered start. They rerun the start four times, so each group gets to experience the magic and awesomeness that is the starting line. Fireworks, cheers, music and the surprisingly loud sound of thousands of feet hitting the pavement. I looked, in vain, for my wife and her parents who were at the starting line to wish me well. There were so many people!

The early part of the run, I maintained a pace that I knew was faster than what I'd be able to keep throughout the race, but I didn't want to slow down. In hindsight, that was probably a mistake. The spectators were amazing, I saw my super awesome friends Penny, Adam and Micki! They were cheering all the runners, but I suspect most of Micki's cheers were for her husband Troy who was running in his first ever half.

The signs all over the course made the day WAY better! I saw one twice through Bexley that said, "I don't know you, but I'm proud of you!" Seriously, stranger motivation, ftw! On the way into Bexley, we saw the people who were going to win the marathon and the half-marathon. They were absolutely killing it, I hoped to see my friends Dave and Ryan running the opposite way, but I didn't see them. The runs through Bexley and then through German Village were awesome. I'm super familiar with both parts of town, so it was nice to see them on foot, since that was a new experience for me.

I knew, from my looks at the course all week, that High Street was going to be the mentally difficult part of the course. It's not the hardest part of the course (that comes later), but it was going to be mentally difficult. Midway up High Street, the half marathoners turned off the course and got the wonderful blessing of being finished! There was a huge sign at the 13.1 mark that said, "Now the fun begins" Nothing about the next 10 miles was even remotely fun. I promise.

Towards the end of High Street, at mile 16 (or so), I hit the mental wall. I started walking. Once we got near the Horseshoe, I decided that I had to do some more running, because... Buckeyes. Running into Ohio Stadium was an awesome experience. The super steep hills that await you to enter and exit weren't that welcome, however!

Miles 20-23 were brutal, that's the most difficult part of the course for a few reasons. First, it has the most uphills and second, it's just boring. You run through residential areas and parking lots. The half marathoners are gone, so there are considerably fewer participants. It's just grueling to get through it. I walked/ran through this part, lots of stiffness and pain.

I was very frustrated with myself for walking so early, it just killed my momentum. I was determined to finish, and I really wanted to finish running. At the 22.5 mark, I thought to myself, "At 23, all that's left is a 5k. Even on my worst day, I can run a 5k. Even right now, I could run a 5k." So, I committed to running the entire thing after the 23rd mile marker.

Once I passed the marker, I started running, and I didn't stop. I had to mentally tough it out a few times as I'd think, "Nobody knows the deal I made, I could just walk a little bit." But I knew the deal I had made, and I wasn't willing to let myself down in such a way. There were SNACKS at one point near the end! Orange pieces, Oreos, pretzels, skittles, bananas! I grabbed all that I could carry so that I could get a little snack in to finish strong. I was most excited for the banana, then the girl running next to me dropped her banana on the ground after unwrapping it. She stopped to pick it up. Read that again. She stopped to pick it up. She was going to eat it. I couldn't let that happen, so she got my banana, and I got karma (which I don't believe in, even slightly).

As I was in the final mile, I saw an older guy on a stretcher about to go into an ambulance. My heart broke for him because he was so close! It was at that point that I began to think about the gravity of what was happening in my life. I was never even remotely athletic in my entire life and I was going to do something amazing. I was about to finish pushing my body over 26.2 miles! I genuinely started to tear up before I had to snap myself out of the emotion. I told myself that I couldn't, under any circumstances, waste any hydration on tears!

As I neared the finish line, I saw my friends Penny and Adam!! I actually stopped for a second and gave Adam a great big kiss on the cheek. I had to celebrate! As I got closer, I saw my wife and family cheering me on! They were right at the final turn on the course. This was the moment pride kicked in.

As I passed them, I waved, and a girl passed me on the course. There was no chance I was letting her finish that race before me. She may not have known we were racing, but I had about a tenth of a mile to pass her! I turned on the jets and made my way up to her, I caught up and passed her on the left. Just as I passed her, though, I tripped on something! I caught myself from falling by a tiny fraction. Seriously, a tiny, tiny fraction! The entire crowd on the left side of the street took a huge breath as they saw me almost face plant onto the bricks outside Nationwide Arena!

I didn't fall, and I ran across the finish line! Took me 5 hours and 3 minutes, but I did it!

I was, am, and always will be, a Marathoner!

Final Thoughts:

1. The greatest sign of the day said, "Chuck Norris never ran a marathon."
2. The second greatest said (there were a few of these), "You are running better than the government!"
3. There was a guy on a bike who met the course 5-6 different times and had great motivational signs. He was awesome, even got a high five from me at one point.
4. High fiving all the kids was definitely the way to go! It made the course a lot more fun, even if it did add some time and distance to the race for me.
5. If you ever get the chance, go spectate a marathon, or volunteer at a water station or something. You'll be amazed at what you see.
6. I finished the race and said it was my first and last race. I'd never do it again. By Tuesday, I was already thinking of how to do better the next time. I think it's official, I'm an addict.

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Book #8 - #GoingSocial

A few years ago, a guy named Terrace Crawford friend requested me on facebook. Terrace is a youth pastor in Virginia, he's been worth following over the past few years as I was a new youth pastor learning the ministry.

Terrace maintains a website that includes a blog and some other news about his ministry over at TerraceCrawford.com. He released a book a while ago called Going Social about how to use social media in ministry.

I read the book, hoping to gain some new insights on using social media in ministry. Unfortunately, this book wasn't really written with me in mind. Terrace goes through many different social media methods/sites, including facebook, twitter and youtube. He teaches mostly the basics, like how to set up a facebook page or a twitter account. He explains how to use hashtags and some basic tips on how to set up a youtube page.

Unfortunately, this was pretty much all info I already knew. So, at the end of the day, this book would have a lot more value for someone who is completely new to social media. If you're that person, you're probably not reading my blog, but if you are that person, then this book would be of great value to you.

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Book #7 - Mere Christianity

I'll be honest, CS Lewis is one of my absolute favorite authors; but before this year, I had never read what many people consider to be his best book. My friend Daniel gave me this book a few years ago, and I never got the chance to read it. I made sure that I added it to my list of 30 books to read before my 30th birthday, because I wanted to read one of the pinnacles of 20th century Christian literature.

Before I talk about the book, I'd like to mention something. I have tons and tons and tons of respect and love for teachers. I originally went to college to be a math teacher. With that said, my favorite teacher through 13 years of non-college schooling was my 4th grade teacher. Mr. Kirker started reading The Chronicles of Narnia to us right at the beginning of school. We read through the entire series together. I still have that original set of those books, as you can notice, with our kitty, "Lucy the Valiant."

Once I became a Christian, I already knew of CS Lewis since I was such a fan of the Chronicles of Narnia. I ended up taking a long while to read through Mere Christianity just because of everything happening in our personal lives. We moved and I had a lot going on in the job front.

That said, it was an absolutely fantastic book and I'm so happy to have read it. Lewis basically runs through a logical explanation of Christianity starting with the basic premise that there is a moral code that exists apart from individual and even cultural bias. He calls it "The Law of Human Nature."

At any rate, I heartily recommend this book for anyone. It's a very manageable entry into the thoughts behind Christian principles.

One of my favorite passages, from later in the book has Lewis' thoughts on marriage from a Christian perspective:

"Before leaving the question of divorce, I should like to distinguish two things which are often very confused. The Christian conception of marriage is one: the other us quite the different question-how far Christians, if they are voters of Members of Parliament, ought to try to force their views of marriage on the rest of the community by embodying them in the divorce laws. A great many people seem to think that if you are a Christian yourself you should try to make divorce difficult for every one. I do not think that. At least I know I should be very angry if the Mohammedans tried to prevent the rest of us from drinking wine. My own view is that the Churches should frankly recognise that the majority of the British people are not Christians, and therefore, cannot be expected to live Christian lives. There ought to be two distinct kinds of marriage: one governed by the State with rules enforced on all citizens, the other governed by the Church with rules enforced by her on her own members. The distinction ought to be quite sharp, so that a man knows which couples are married in a Christian sense and which are not."

Have you read it? What were your thoughts?

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Book #6 - The Shame and the Sacrifice

Dietrich Bonhoeffer is one of those characters in history that I wanted to read more about. I'll be honest, biographies are generally my least favorite genre of book to read. The problem isn't the historical significance, it's the inane amount of fluff that seems to be present in them. It took a while to get through this because there was a lot of fluff that I found to be uninteresting, and therefore picking the book up to read it was a chore at times.

It didn't help that this reading fell over the job transition into Hillside, so it was a pretty busy time in my life.

Anyway, this biography on Bonhoeffer was full of the fluff that I find frivolous, but it did have some definite gems and some major points to make about the way Christians reacted and were treated in the growth of the Nazi movement throughout Germany.

The insight into the German psyche following World War I helps a reader who is 70 years removed from the Second World War to understand a little more of how it was possible that a man like Hitler ever came into such a dangerously powerful role. As I read this, I remembered learning some of it in high school history.

But the impact on the church was relatively impactful for me, since the church is my vocational setting and primary concern when reading a book like this.

How did the Christians of Germany allow themselves to get so taken by the horrible Nazi movement? How did they so quickly and easily lose sight of Christ, the Prince of Peace?

One word. Nationalism.

There are some incredible parallels to be made between the German church of the 1920's and 30's along with the American church of the early 2000's. I'm afraid the nationalistic tendencies are running rather deep here, too, with many "American Christians" identifying first as Americans then as Christians, similar to their German predecessors.

We should all be quick, I think, to learn a lesson from these German Christians and understand that our Kingdom is not of this world. We are dual citizens, but our primary citizenship is in Heaven and because of this, we should allow heavenly thought to impact each of our decisions, regardless of our American citizenship.

I feel obligated to make a clear point of what I am not saying. I'm not suggesting that we burn our flags. I'm not suggesting that we move to another country. I'm not suggesting that America sucks. I'm not suggesting that Christians shouldn't feel blessed to have a freedom of worship guaranteed by the Bill of Rights.

It is most assuredly a blessing to live in America, but it's a far greater blessing to be a citizen of Heaven. Let us never lose sight of that.

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Writer's Block

They say the more you do something, the better you will get at it. It should be no secret that I enjoy writing. This is my third blog attempt, each on focused a little differently. I find difficulty in blogging, however, because I think the majority of people who I'm already connected with won't be interested in a lot of the things I could sit down to talk about.

For instance, I finished A Dance With Dragons tonight. It's the 5th book in George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series which has been made wildly popular by the show Game of Thrones on HBO. I had read the previous four books a while ago but was reluctant to read the 5th book because it garnered pretty negative reviews from readers (especially on amazon).

However, when compiling a list of 30 books to read, I went ahead and added it onto the list. It took me three weeks to read it, and I absolutely loved it! It continues the very adult saga of Martin's world, but is hands down the greatest fantasy literature over (Yes, move over Tolkein)!

My greatest frustration, however, is Martin's incessant use of cliff hangers. There are what feel like 100 cliffs that we're hanging on, waiting for the next volume of the epic series. There were 6 years between the publication of the 4th and 5th books. I'm horribly anxious for the next book in the series!

But alas, most of my friends don't want to read my musings on that book. So, I could write about some new music. I recently picked up 2 albums from Benjamin Dunn from noisetrade.com. The first one is called Fable. It's an amazing album. RadioU plays 2 singles from the album, and I loved both of the songs.

Fable (at least for the first 5-6 songs) plays on a litany of Narnia references. If you've gotten to know me at all over my life, you may know that The Chronicles of Narnia has a very special place in my heart. The Narnia novels remain one of my favorite book series of all time.

Sail to the End speaks about Reepicheep and his journeys to the end of the world to travel to Aslan's country.

My Name is Eustace is a wonderful song rendition of Eustance Clarence Scrubb being transformed by Aslan's grace and mercy.

Sing references the Emperor/Aslan creating the world of Narnia by singing it into being.

But alas, I'm not sure I'm musically aware enough to write an entire post about an album (or even two). However, I highly recommend the Benjamin Dunn albums. Find them and get them!

What I could spend a lot of time talking about is my idea for a gaming adventure. I want to have an adventure published by next August. This gives me more than a year to get an adventure written and published. I also want to fill a journal up with only gaming ideas (not necessarily just Pathfinder). Why gaming ideas? Because gaming forces me to be creative. Writing is a creative endeavor, but writing for gaming really embraces my imagination in a completely different way.

So, I went to Barnes and Noble and got a new "Gaming Journal." I must admit, I actually bought my first Moleskine journal. After using it a little, I can see why they're so popular.

Anyrate, I've started brainstorming ideas for my new adventure. I have a title and a very loose concept in my head. I spent a few hours yesterday writing down a lot of information on the setting of the adventure. It needs to be loose enough to fit into any campaign world, and not be tied down to a single campaign setting.

I can literally feel more than 3/4 of my readers clicking away from this post already.

The issue I'm having, though, is where to begin?! I can see the end-game really well. Kill the BBEG (That's gamer talk for Big Bad Evil Guy), take treasure, WIN!

I can see the mid-points well. Get to BBEG, travel through dungeon full of traps and monsters.

But the beginning of adventures is so vexing for me. How do great stories begin?

A hole in the ground.
The beheading of a Night's Watch Deserter.
4 children avoiding the blitz by moving into a country mansion.
Traveling along the road in the desert and being blown up.
A traveling merchant singing a song about hot nights before peddling his wares.

(Bonus points to anyone who can name all 5 of those stories based only on my interpretation of their beginnings)

What about you, I've hit some writer's block, can you help? What's a great way to begin an adventuring story? The old school gaming trope is to meet in a tavern, get the mission pitched, save the world. So, I'd prefer to avoid that type of introduction altogether.

At any rate, thanks for reading. Leave comments below!

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The week that was, but I wish wasn't

I can't lie about this, part of the reason I started writing this blog, made a list of books to read and things to do, is that I'm so frustrated with where my life is right now.

If you had asked me a year ago where my life would be right now, this was not it. This was nowhere near what I expected in my life. I can't overstate that enough.

So, I've spent the past 10 months trying to "right the ship," if you will. I've been trying to get things back into a place where I want them. I spent three months unemployed, but still drawing a salary, so I didn't do much. I sent my resume to every single Nazarene youth pastor opening I saw.

The next five have been spent working at a restaurant as a cook. I hate it. I thought I'd be there for a few weeks because surely I wouldn't be stuck in this place so long. Boy, that wasn't even close to correct.

So, a few weeks ago, things started to line up. We got an interview nailed down, and everything seemed like it was going to happen. I felt like God was finally bringing us out of this place. God had finally decided that it was time to move on from here.

I know a lot of people get excited when they have interviews and they think "this is it!" I had taken four interviews prior to this most recent one, I didn't feel that way about any of them. I was so sure that this was it, I was preparing the restaurant for my departure. Holly was preparing her employer for her departure. We even discussed timing plans with the in-laws regarding how/when we were going to move. I started collecting some boxes from work.

This wasn't all just fantasy, I promise. Every communication from the church we were heading to made it seem like the interview was just a formality. We were in. They even took our opinion on what color to paint a couple rooms in the parsonage.

We went for the interview and on Saturday night, after the interview, Holly and I talked, after talking with our hosts. We looked at each other and said, "this is it."

Well, it wasn't. Not by a long shot. Dreams were crushed. Plans were stopped. And now... nothing. I don't know what's next. Everyone likes to ask that, after a crushed soul, "What's next, Alex?"

The truth is, I have no idea. I literally have no idea what we're going to do next. Keep looking for a ministry position? Go into management at the restaurant I'm in (They're dying to have me do that)? Go back to school and get my MDiv? Go back to school and start a whole new career?

I have no idea what's next. Most of those are exclusive. If I do one, I can't do the rest. God says, "Ask, Seek, Knock."

I've asked. I mean, I've asked. I've begged and begged and begged. I've cried tears of desperation. I've asked everyone I know for advice. I've asked God for guidance and direction. I've asked. Over and over and over.

We've sought. I'm not sure I can even begin to count how many places I've sent my resume. I've sent it far and wide (as close as the NWO District, as far as Washington State). We've had interviews with churches on both sides of the country (literally: San Diego and Maryland). We've even discussed an over-seas opportunity at one point. Every single youth pastor opening that I've even been given wind of, I've contacted. More often than not, I'm getting no response. That's not figurative, it's literal, no response. I've sought.

I've knocked. Every single door I can think of, I've knocked. Career change? Knock knock. Youth pastor openings? Knock knock. Senior pastor? Knock knock. Discipleship pastor? Knock knock. Young adult pastor? Knock knock. Military chaplain? Knock knock. Military officer (non-chaplain)? Knock knock. I've never experienced something like this before. Every door we've knocked on, none have opened. The ones that seemed to be open have been shut in our faces.

I'm bone weary.

I'm completely exhausted.

I'm confused.

I'm doubting.

I'm questioning.

I'm broken.

I'm sad.

I'm angry.

I'm weak.

I'm hurting.

I'm at the end of my rope.

And here's where the cliches come in, "when you're at the end of your rope..."

"God gives rest to the weary..."

"God gives strength to the weak..."

"When one door closes..."

In my experience over the past ten months, none of that seems to be true. Every door that I've pursued has closed. Every window that I've pursued has been closed. Every small glimmer of light has gone dark.

I really thought this was it. I thought I was going to begin writing about starting a new ministry, moving to a new place, meeting new friends. Instead... none of that.

Last week was a complete bust. I didn't read anything. I didn't run a single mile.

This week will be different. I've got a list of things to do, going to turn it around, make something happen.

Be blessed, friends. Continue to pray for us as we continue to struggle through this time of Exile.

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Introduction

This isn't the first blog I've had. I had the Revolutionary Nazarene site for a while, I last posted there two years ago with my picks for the 2011 baseball season.For those of you who are counting, I did horribly. I picked the Phillies, Reds, Giants and Braves for the NL and the Red Sox, Twins, A's and Yankees for the AL. Of those teams, only the Phillies and the Yankees made the playoffs, and only the Phillies did it in the position I predicted (NL East Champs). In my defense, the Braves and Red Sox were both only a game out of the playoffs, but the Twins and A's each finished below .500. So, alas, not the best at predicting baseball. Honestly, I have hidden my head in shame since then on that site. At some point, I may move the posts over here, because they tell part of the story of my life from that time. More on that later.

Once we found out we were pregnant, I realized I wanted to catalog some of my thoughts regarding fatherhood into a journal-type format, so I started the "First Time Father" blog experiment. It was a lot of fun detailing some of my thoughts into blog posts; giving people an inside look at what I was thinking in my role as a first time father.

However, neither of those blogs really encapsulate me as a whole. The former was focused mostly on the theologian side of me (and apparently to some degree the baseball lover, too), and the latter exclusively focused on my life as a first time father-to-be; there have been no posts since I told the story of Xavier's birth on that blog. Feel free to check it out, though.

So, I wanted to make a site that would capture Alex as Alex, not just one (or two) parts of Alex. My dear friend Johnna decried when I first started the "Baby Blog," that it was unfair to separate life into compartments for blogging because that's not the way life really works. She's right.

So, here I am. This is going to be something different for me, I'll be sharing things that interest me, things that make me laugh, things that taste delicious (little known fact about me is that I absolutely love to cook!) and other facets of my life, even the nerdy side (minecraft screenshots, anyone?).

However, to start with, I'll be having one major focus in this blog.

I'm heading full-speed toward a major milestone in my life. It should be no surprise to you that some birthdays are more important than others. When you're younger, almost every birthday is of the utmost importance. As you get older, they start to space out in importance, though. 16 is a big one, and 18 is a big one, but 17 is rarely celebrated with the furor of its neighbors. Following those milestones, you hit 20, 21, 25... and finally, 30.

At this point in time, 30 is that benchmark birthday, for whatever reason, it's expected that we are settled down and making progress on our life goals at the age of 30. Some of us do, some of us don't. It's okay if you weren't in "that place" at 30, but be honest, society has sort of turned that into a really big deal.

In light of my thirtieth birthday coming up next year, I've hammered out a list of thirty things I want to accomplish in the 17 months between now and then. My friends Nate and Micki have each spent some time making these sorts of lists. They have both inspired me to do the same for myself. So, I made a list of my 30before30. These are the 30 things I want to accomplish before I turn 30. I'll spend some time explaining what I mean here on this blog, and share in the successes (and inevitable failures) here too.

I love living my life publicly and collaboratively. I appreciate the input from my friends and family on these sorts of things.

Be blessed.

a

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